Celebrating failure

Brown: Sing when you're losing

Picture the scene: supporters celebrating in the stands, players swigging champagne while doing a lap of honour on the pitch, wives, girlfriends and children joining in the party atmosphere and, most surreal of all, the manager belting out an impromptu Beach Boys-inspired karaoke session.

So what was the occasion to spark such jubilation? A title triumph or a cup success? No, neither of those. Perhaps a place in Europe had been achieved, or maybe a promotion spot had been secured? Negatives again. How about a play-off berth, or a trip to Wembley? Nope.

The real reason for the unconfined joy was that Hull City had just lost their final home game of the season to a reserve Manchester United side to achieve the hugely notable distinction of being the fourth worst team in the Premier League. Congratulations.

Before the East Yorkshire hordes use up all of Kingston Communications' broadband bandwidth as they email indignant responses, let me qualify those comments.

I have no axe to grind with Hull City. The Tigers deserved to stay up. They gained more points over the 38-game season than the three teams who finished below them. Phil Brown's men were also a real breath of fresh air in the opening weeks of the campaign.

Brown should also be applauded for guiding Hull from the Championship relegation zone to the top-flight for the first time ever in the club's history. I might even have forgiven him for singing after achieving that. Then again, perhaps not.

But what irks me is the giddy response to beating the drop. Hull's defeat to effectively the Red Devils' second string was their 11th home reverse of the season, the worst record in the entire Premier League.

It is not even as though the Tigers saved themselves with a dramatic and passionate final day performance, triumphing in the face of adversity with goalkeeper Boaz Myhill charging up front to score with the last kick of the game, mirroring Jimmy Glass' memorable effort for Carlisle a decade ago.

Instead they seemed happy to settle for a 1-0 defeat, preferring to rely on the fact that Newcastle were even more inept as they slipped to defeat at Aston Villa, despite the fact that a single goal for the Magpies would have seen the two clubs switch places in the table.

The Tigers, for all their impressive early season form, have been simply appalling for the second half of the campaign. 15 defeats were sustained during their last 22 games, during which time they won just once.

After the start they made, a mid-table finish should have been the least of their ambitions, yet they appeared utterly delighted to settle for slumping down the rankings to eventually scrape into 17th. Why not aim higher?

Hull have an impressive stadium, substantial support and are hardly operating on a shoe-string budget. Geovanni and George Boateng weren't only encouraged to move to the club by the bracing North Sea air and the opportunity to visit 'The Deep'.

The desire to finish fourth from bottom is an affliction which spreads far beyond Hull. Too many Premier League clubs are happy simply to be at the party, with no real intention of making any meaningful contribution.

Four teams have realistic title ambitions, another quartet would like to finish in the top four, and the rest, seemingly, would be happy not to be in the bottom three. Even Fulham boss Roy Hodgson, who skilfully guided the Cottagers into Europe via a seventh-placed finish, admitted as much towards the end of the campaign.

It is clear the riches which come with regular UEFA Champions League action give a select few a distinct advantage, but the rest should show more ambition than simply keeping their fingers crossed and hoping that there will be three worse teams than them come May.

Only one side in the history of the Premier League has survived with fewer points than Hull garnered this year. West Brom tallied a pitiful 34 in the 2004/05 campaign and were duly relegated the following season. Brown will need to spend the summer rallying his troops to avoid following suit.

I'll leave the final word to a Tigers supporter who was interviewed outside the KC Stadium following 'Survival Sunday'. When asked how he felt, he replied, without a trace of irony: "Fantastic. We were rubbish."